SELF-ESTEEM/SELF WORTH

Self-esteem is essential to our ability to function in a healthy way. Without the foundation of a solid sense of self-worth, we are unable to take the risks and make the decisions necessary to lead a fulfilling, productive life. A low self-esteem corrodes our love lives, careers, family bonds, and, most importantly, our internal sense of well-being. A high self-esteem, on the other hand, brings the high level of confidence, problem-solving abilities, and assertiveness needed to achieve what is called “self-actualization”- a continuous desire to fulfill potentials, to be all that you can be. People who have positive self-esteem have healthier, stronger relationships with others. A strong sense of self-worth actually creates a type of self-fulfilling prophecy: the more you like yourself, the more you begin to act in likable ways; the more you believe you are able to achieve something, the more likely it is that you will. And the good news is that we can all take steps to improve our self-esteem. After all, there’s nothing more important than the relationship you have with yourself!

 

Building your self-esteem and creating a positive self-awareness comes from taking an inventory of your own strengths and abilities as a human being. Being at peace with who you are and what you have to offer the world is a major part of having high self-esteem. This “inner peace” does not mean that you are unaware of your weaknesses; it merely means that you accept who you are and genuinely like the person you have become.

You should think about yourself as deserving of attention, admiration and proper maintenance. Avoid the pitfall of paying too much attention to the happiness and well-being of others and too little to your own. Maintaining self-esteem involves becoming fully aware of your strengths and seeing challenges as opportunities to employ those strengths

Believe in your self-worth just a little bit more – be  all you can be; because YOU want to and because YOU can.

You are smart, you are able and you are magnificent you – don’t believe that?!? You should. Some one else doesn’t believe that in you?? – So be it

Words of Efficacy

To give up control is to truly be in control; to enjoy life, and live life.

Take risks; we do not know the outcome – it just may be good; not the worst that you expected

Look for options; problem solve.

Do not lose your sense of self; you have, individually, your own value and worth

Live life, enjoy life and be.

QUOTES TO GET YOU THROUGH THE WEEK

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?

~Jane Wagner 

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

~Allan K. Chalmers  

Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.

~Christopher Reeves  

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow them.

~Louisa May Alcott:

SUPPORT RALLY – GATHER ALL ‘ROUND

It is no secret I have an anxiety/panic “challenge”. Ah, even just that felt good to admit.

I have apparently been “hand-picked” to go to a 4 week women’s support group. It has a great name. It is called “Women Empowerment”.  It will consist of 7 other women plus the counselor. It appears that they consider this a small group. Well, not to me! Any more than 2 is more that I can handle.

I am not expected to speak unless I want to, I am invited to just sit and listen. Each meeting is for 2 hours.  I can already feel the claustrophobia, hyperventilation, need to pass out or flee; creeping up on me already. 2 Hours?!? That is a lifetime!

I agreed to go because I know it is a good opportunity for me, and I will probably learn very much from it. It is something meant to help and guide me. Tonight I was given some tools and techniques to work through this anxiety; to be able to go and concentrate on the group. Something about intervention, but for the life of me, they have all currently leapt from my mind!

I remember something like; I am supposed to create 2 columns. One for my reasons why I shouldn’t go, or don’t want to go and all the horrible things. And the other column is to be for why I should go. Hopefully the should column will out weigh the shouldn’t, and the shouldn’t will become a deficit. I’ll have to work on that.

I’ll try to remember the other “Intervention Tools” but I’ll need some time to calm my thoughts and remember what they are. And I need to talk to Fred!!!!

So, in the mean time, any support or advice would be more than welcome. Please check in periodically as I will be doing the same because I need you!

Respectfully submitted,

Panic in pieces

 

Fool Fred Fear

I just wanted to introduce my monkey.

He is my fear monkey. His name is Fred.

Actually I like to call him “Fool Fred” and for some reason. I like to think he  is a blue and squishy monkey.

He is always with me, he comes with me everywhere. He is my fear. I accept the fact the he tags along, but if you can picture this, I just wrap his little blue legs around, my waist, wrap his ridiculously long blue monkey arms around my neck and shoulders, and I squash and push his menacing head right out of my face – and then I just carry on and take him with me. He comes everywhere with me, but I just push his little head right out of the way so I don’t have to listen to him.

Yup, lil’ ol’ Fed is with me all the time. I think he may just yet become my companion – the silly little guy. He likes to be there and say bad things all the time, like when I go someplace I don’t want to, or I have to talk about something I really don’t want, he is very persistent;  that fool Fred when I have to do something I absolutely don’t want to do because I am afraid of something. He used to be really good at antagonizing, but I got really sick of him doing that. So now, I understand a situation or a place may be uncomfortable – something I don’t want to do or someplace I don’t want to be, I understand; ok Fred is here, but I shall just not listen to him anymore. It is normal to worry and be uncomfortable in situations – I am just human and I understand that. But I’m really sick of listening to Fool Fred and preventing me from doing things. So if he must be with me, that is fine, but he is just not in my face anymore, I push him out of the way and realize, “yup Fred, it’s natural to be a little scared, but really now, lets not make it any worse”.

So I just tuck little ol’ Fred around me and carry on, he can come if he wants but I now control Fred like the monkey he is, he is not controlling me.

That is my Fool Fred Fear – under control…

I wonder what Fred and I will do tomorrow?!?! – (tee hee)

Requirements

WHAT I REALLY NEED IN MY LIFE  

A)    Select the words below which to fit into the following sentence. Add any other important needs in your life.

“What I really need in my life right now is more…”

  

Vitality                  Self-esteem                 Tenderness                  Composure

Security                 Recognition                Generosity                  Centering

Activity                 Confidence                  Caring                         Awareness

Health                   Motivation                  Sharing                        Solitude

Strength                Knowledge/Skill         Music                          Devotion

Energy                   Opportunities             Laughter                     Contemplation

Fitness                   Challenges                 Support                      Serenity

Relaxation             Variety                       Self-expression            Trust

Comfort                Structure                     Companionship           Insight

Nutrition               Accomplishments        Harmony                     Joy

Touching               Control                       Romance                     Commitment

Imagination           Intimacy                      Communion

Sleep                     Money                        Patience                       Integration

Coordination         Responsibility              Beauty                         Forgiveness

Flexibility              Education/Training       Sensitivity                   Surrender

Exercise                Experience                  Receptivity                  Faith

Self-control           Freedom                    Self-awareness            Purpose

  

B)    Study the qualities which you have selected. Now write down what you see as getting in the way of obtaining what you need or desire. Which needs do you feel you can develope by yourself.

What is standing in your way? How is it standing in your way? Why ? Why does it have to be in your way? Is it because of some one else? Then why? Or is it because of you? Are you standing in your own way? Why? Keep asking why or what, then ask why or what to that answer, then to another. Keep going, it may come to you. It may be simple or it may take time to solve. We may not do, say or accomplish something we want because we blame some one else for it, for some one (or ourselves) standing in our way, or we don’t want to because it is not what some one else wants or needs – but what about you? Do something for you. If it’s something you need or want, it is not up to some one else. It is not up to us to please some one else. Do something for you – yes, you yourself. So what, some one else may be disappointed, irritated, annoyed – So be it. (or just maybe even motivated by you.) They are entitled to their emotions, but their emotions are not your responsibility. They will need to figure that out on their own. When will it be time for you? If some one deserves all the things you do and give to them – don’t you deserve the same at the very least? Really think about it, and question yourself, then question your question.

I am going to pick a few from this list each day, week or even month. However long it takes to accomplish my goals. These may be very new things to us- so yes, we might have to work at them, but it is something we deserve and will be rewarding in the end. If I can not accomplish one, I will just put it aside for another opportunity – I will not be discouraged, that’s not what this is about. If I can do it, good for me – I deserve it. If I am unable to accomplish it at a certain point, that is ok, it is for me, and up to me and only me. It is my choice, I will have another chance. I will not set irrational and unreasonable goals. Someday, this list may be very tiny or not exist at all. Imagine that for a moment. What kind of relaxed, “love-who- I- am- me” would I be?!?!?!?!

I hope you take some time do try this and discover your self or new self (or the self you have always been, but didn’t know  – or know you could be). Maybe you will start a new adventure with this – I hope you do. What do you really, really want. What do you really, really need. Are our wants and need very different anyway?

Good luck!